


The Heart Of It

by Baekbitficfest, thesockmonster



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 13:30:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10877781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baekbitficfest/pseuds/Baekbitficfest, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesockmonster/pseuds/thesockmonster
Summary: Some sacrifices have to be made no matter how much it hurts.





	The Heart Of It

**Author's Note:**

> Please be sure to leave some lovely comments for the writer!
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

_**Prompt #** : 107 _

_**Title** : The Heart Of It _

_**Pairing** : Baekhyun/Chanyeol _

_**Rating** : R _

_**Summary** : Some sacrifices have to be made no matter how much it hurts. _

_**Word** **Count:** 7250w _

_**Author's Note** : I'm really not good at angst, but I tried.  I hope you like it! _

 

Baekhyun whistles low under his breath, his eyes scraping slowly all the way down Chanyeol’s body and then back up as Chanyeol walks out of their bathroom dressed in a beautifully tailored tuxedo.  It fits him to perfection, even just a little tight around his thighs how Baekhyun likes, and all pulled together with a black bowtie.  A red pocket square adds a splash of color, a touch of life.

 

Baekhyun is in a tuxedo that matches, and he knows he looks good, but Chanyeol looks positively delectable.  It should be illegal to be so hot, and Baekhyun can’t help stepping toward him, smoothing his hands down the front of the jacket as he raises to his toes.  Chanyeol is still smiling when he dips to let Baekhyun kiss him.  It doesn’t last as long as Baekhyun wants, but they have places to be, people to impress.

 

“I can’t wait to peel you out of this later,” Chanyeol sighs against Baekhyun’s lips.

 

Baekhyun just grins fondly at him, fingers skittering up Chanyeol’s chest to rest on his neck.  “I was thinking the same thing,” he confesses.  He lets his hands slide down and he tugs on the ends of Chanyeol’s bowtie.  “And now we have the entire evening’s activities planned out.”

 

“But work first,” Chanyeol gripes.  Underneath that pout, however, Baekhyun knows there is simmering pride that Chanyeol won’t be able to keep bottled up for long.  After all, this super snazzy charity event they were invited to is one of the new perks of Chanyeol’s very recent promotion.  Chanyeol worked his ass off to earn this position.  Baekhyun would know; he was the one who forced Chanyeol to eat his one meal a day, showing up at the office with takeout because Chanyeol refused to leave before everything was finished.

 

Baekhyun is proud of him.  He drops a kiss on the corner of Chanyeol’s mouth and tilts his head, smiling at his handsome boyfriend.  “We should get going,” he whispers.

 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol whispers back.  “Our audience awaits us.”

  
  
  


Baekhyun met Chanyeol two years ago when Chanyeol had been scurrying down the sidewalk with his arms full of files and he’d walked into a stationary Baekhyun.  There’d been a mess of papers flying everywhere, and Baekhyun had quite literally been knocked off his feet.  Normally, such a thing would have only been on the receiving end of his ire, but one look at Chanyeol - who had the most adorable puppy look on his face - and Baekhyun’s heart had melted.

 

It was a total cliche beginning, and yet Baekhyun thinks it’s utterly perfect.

 

It’s still perfect as Baekhyun twists in the sheets to face away from the sunlight slanting through the curtains.  The view is infinitely better this direction; he gets to feast his eyes on a naked Chanyeol, who has managed to get the sheet down to his thighs before it tangles around his long longs.  Baekhyun gazes fondly at the faint trail of red on Chanyeol’s hip that Baekhyun had left only the evening before.  Their eagerness to get out of their tuxes had left behind new marks that will eventually fade, but never the memory.  Baekhyun will remember last night with crystal clear clarity for the rest of his life.

 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Chanyeol rumbles without opening his eyes.

 

Baekhyun hums softly, reaching out to drag the pad of his finger down the slope of Chanyeol’s nose.  “I was too busy admiring,” he whispers.  And he’s pleased that even though there’s now a pout on Chanyeol’s lips, his ears have gone red with embarrassment.  He’s so easy to rile up - another thing that Baekhyun loves about him.

 

“Well can you admire a little quieter?  Some of us are trying to sleep off all that champagne.”

 

“Aww, my grumpy bear,” Baekhyun coos, purposely moving closer to Chanyeol so he can leave a sloppy, wet kiss on Chanyeol’s temple.

 

“Baek,” Chanyeol whines, swatting at him half-heartedly, all while still managing to keep his eyes closed.

 

“I’ll start some coffee,” Baekhyun tells him, running his fingers through the tangled mess of Chanyeol’s hair before he slides out of their bed.  He doesn’t bother with clothes.  Unless he has somewhere to be, or knows that someone will be coming over, Baekhyun prefers to keep it natural.  Plus, it makes spontaneous groping much more exciting.

 

Chanyeol lumbers out of their room and down the hall a few minutes later, yawning and stretching as the coffee maker beeps.  Baekhyun makes an effort to pat Chanyeol’s stomach as Chanyeol reaches up into the cupboard over Baekhyun’s head to pull down a pair of matching mugs.  Saturdays are for the mugs they made at a pottery class back when they were dating.  Chanyeol drinks out of the one Baekhyun made and Baekhyun delightfully curls his fingers around the mug Chanyeol made for him as Chanyeol fills it with coffee.

 

Baekhyun loves lazy weekend mornings.  There’s no rush to get out the door, no hurried kisses as they part ways in the apartment complex’s garage, no longing texts sent before lunch because Baekhyun really just wants to spend all the time he can with Chanyeol.  On days like today, he isn’t fighting the corporate ladder just to get a piece of Chanyeol for himself.

 

The way Chanyeol drops a kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead after taking his first sip of heavily sugared coffee is perfect.  And how Baekhyun can’t help grinning, leaning up to leave a better kiss on Chanyeol’s lips is even more perfect.  Chanyeol nudges their noses together, sighing softly before Baekhyun slips from his arms.

 

They spend the morning on the couch, catching up on their week.  They eventually eat a late breakfast, arguing if their meal technically counted as brunch since it was a breakfast food, or if the time - 12:17 - put it in the lunch category.  Chanyeol is still making his case for lunch when they leave to grab groceries for the week.  Baekhyun lets him think he won, giving up because Chanyeol preening over the smallest victory is the cutest thing.

  
  
  


Baekhyun makes sure Chanyeol has both their tuxedos in hand when he leaves for work Monday morning.  Chanyeol will drop them off at the dry cleaners and Baekhyun will pick them up this afternoon on his way home.  They part ways in the parking garage, sharing a lingering kiss over the door of Chanyeol’s car.

 

Baekhyun sits in the driver’s seat and watches in the rear view mirror as Chanyeol pulls out, waving to Baekhyun as he passes, heading out from the darkness of the shadows and into the light of day.  Baekhyun lets out a sigh, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs left after such a serene weekend.  It’s so easy for him to feel normal with Chanyeol, so easy to believe that he’s not keeping this huge secret bottled up because Chanyeol can’t know.  Chanyeol can <i>never</i> know.

 

Baekhyun finally pulls out of the garage and onto the road, heading the same direction as Chanyeol, although his drive isn’t as far.  His permanent parking pass - a job perk - hangs from his mirror and he parks in the same spot he’s parked for years.  He sits back in his seat, fingers drumming on the steering wheel for just a minute longer.  With a deep, cleansing breath, Baekhyun finally turns off the ignition, grabs his case from the passenger seat, and gets out of his car.

 

The building Baekhyun works in is a hodge podge of different businesses and services all crammed together.  It’s a tall building, modern and aesthetically pleasing, and Baekhyun is thankful his company bought the entire floor they work in instead of sharing like some of the others.

 

The elevator is nearly full when he gets to it, and he opts to wait for the next one.  It’s not long before there’s a familiar presence at his side; Baekhyun peers over to find Junmyeon - his boss - looking clean cut and way too awake for this early on a Monday.  It usually takes Baekhyun at least until noon at the beginning of the week to fully wake up.

 

“Morning,” Junmyeon chirps, a cup of coffee in hand and his designer satchel hanging from his fingers.  His suit is navy today, his shirt white with tiny light blue squares.  It looks frustratingly handsome on him.

 

“Is it?” Baekhyun responds, hiding a yawn with the back of his hand.

 

Junmyeon clucks his tongue at Baekhyun, the sound lost when the elevator to their right pings and the doors open.  Baekhyun and Junmyeon manage to wedge themselves inside and Junmyeon presses the button for the 14th floor.  The elevator lets off twice before they get to their destination.  They’re the only two who get off on floor 14, and Baekhyun feels a lot better now that he’s not plastered to Junmyeon’s back.

 

“I expect you to be more wide-eyed at the meeting in an hour,” Junmyeon comments as Baekhyun works to stifle another yawn.  “And don’t even think about sending my assistant out for coffee,” he warns, turning a non-threatening glare toward Baekhyun.  “There’s a coffee pot down the hall.  <i>Use it</i>.”

 

Baekhyun is still making a sour face when he walks into his small office, nearly jumping out of his skin when he hears someone clear their throat behind him.

 

“I already started the coffee,” Jongdae tells him, a pleasant smile on his face.  “But I suggest you move your ass.  Jongin’s already prowling the area like a wild animal.  There’s no telling when he’ll pounce.”

 

“Thank you for the warning,” Baekhyun tells him, plopping down in his expensive, oh-so-comfortable office chair.  One of the perks of the job, even if he’s not often actually in his office.

 

Instead of leaving Baekhyun to his planned half an hour nap, Jongdae chooses to prop himself on the side of Baekhyun’s desk, arms folded across his chest.  “Burning the candle at both ends?” he asks just as Baekhyun yawns for the third time.

 

Baekhyun blinks through watery eyes and purses his lips at Jongdae.  “We both know the only candle I have is for Chanyeol.”  He runs his hands over his face before they drop to his lap.  “Chanyeol had a thing on Friday.”

 

“Oooh, because of his promotion?”

 

“Yeah.  It took me the entire weekend to get over how devastatingly handsome he looked in his tux.”

 

“I bet it did,” Jongdae comments with a laugh.

 

Baekhyun doesn’t dignify the comment with an answer.  Jongdae is well aware of how crazy Baekhyun is about Chanyeol, which means he seizes any and all opportunity to poke fun at Baekhyun about it.  Especially since pre-Chanyeol Baekhyun was the last one of them anyone expected to settle down.

 

A faint beep filters down the hall and into Baekhyun’s office.  The coffee is done.  He already knows Jongin will be in there, pouring a cup for himself even if he claims to hate the stuff, a larger cup for Kyungsoo, and maybe leaving enough for a half cup for anyone else.  Baekhyun figures that’s probably enough to get him through the meeting before he talks Junmyeon’s assistant - an eager recruit by the name of Sehun - to dart out for Starbucks when Junmyeon isn’t looking.

  
  
  


On paper, Baekhyun is a security analyst.  He works for a company that outsources his services to other corporations or businesses who need help building up their own team to handle any security or online threats.  He goes in, installs a basic program that will get them started, and stays for a week, maybe two, to work with the team and teach them how to add to the program and bolster their security, keep any malicious software from invading the systems.  It’s all about adaptation.

 

There is, however, more to it than it seems.  Under the business smiles and knowledge to successfully do his job as a security analyst, Baekhyun is a spy.  When he was first recruited, he thought he’d be sneaking around in foreign countries and living a fake life for a few months before starting over somewhere else.  The movies give spies this sort of glamour that Baekhyun fell for hook, line and sinker.

 

It’s not at all like the movies.  Baekhyun doesn’t mind though.  Most of the time, his job is simple - infiltrate a company as a security analyst and as he puts down the building blocks for a program to protect the systems and information, he also installs a backdoor for himself to root out the information he’s been hired to obtain.

 

It’s not sabotage.  They never go in for anything so droll.  It’s usually small stuff, like being hired by a government organization to find hidden accounting information and offshore banking so the company doesn’t have to pay as much in taxes.  Tax evasion is their number one assignment.  And the government is their number one customer.

 

Sometimes they get something a little better, a little different.

 

Baekhyun sits in his meeting with Junmyeon, suddenly interested because this case is going to be different.  It’s not tax evasion, or an angry spouse who thinks their husband or wife is having an affair on the company dime.  This is more serious.  Two members on the board of directors are high profile suspects in a human trafficking ring.  Baekhyun’s adrenaline starts pumping at the thought of it, and he’s only too eager to accept the job.

 

“We provided an in by having Yixing plant a virus in their system.  Now they need us to go in, pluck it out, and beef up their security so it doesn’t happen again.”  Junmyeon slides a file across the table.

 

Baekhyun flips open the file and inhales sharply.  He looks up at Junmyeon with wide eyes, but Junmyeon has his business face on.  Baekhyun can’t back out of this one.  He’s the one the handlers believe is the best for this assignment, which is why he’s the only one Junmyeon is briefing about it.

 

He swallows and looks back down at the papers in his hand.  He has to infiltrate the company <i>Chanyeol</i> works for.  This could get tricky.

  
  
  


Baekhyun gets home a little later than usual, their tuxedos hanging from his fingertips as he walks in the door.  He barely has his shoes off before Chanyeol is taking the drycleaning from him and scurrying off to hang it in their closet.  Baekhyun sighs as he watches him, already struggling with the decision he made with himself.

 

He’s not going to tell Chanyeol he’s going to be working with his company.  He can’t chance them being seen together, even if the damage may already be done.  He’s just hoping the amount of champagne that had been going around Friday night was enough to make everyone’s memories fuzzy enough for doubt.

 

He slides fingers through his hair, shuffling the rest of the way into their apartment and toward the bedroom.  He wants to be out of his suit.  He wants to strip away all the reminders of his job and relax for a while before he has to go running toward the lion’s den tomorrow.  Chanyeol comes up behind him, warm hands on Baekhyun’s hips and Baekhyun melts back against him with a soft hum.

 

“How was your day?” Chanyeol rumbles.

 

Baekhyun pulls at his tie to loosen it, then starts unbuttoning his shirt.  “Exhausting,” Baekhyun complains truthfully.

 

Chanyeol laughs, pressing a kiss on the side of Baekhyun’s neck.  His next exhale sends warm air down Baekhyun’s skin and his toes curl in his socks.  “You never have anything good to say on Mondays.”

 

“I have plenty of good things to say on Mondays,” Baekhyun gripes.  “Just not about my job.  Jongin spent the entire day coffee blocking me so his precious Kyungsoo could get it all, and Junmyeon thwarted my plans to get Sehun to go out for some.  They either need to put a limit on how much coffee a person can have, or buy another damn machine.”

 

Chanyeol laughs again, sliding his arms all the way around Baekhyun’s waist, resting his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder.  “So tell Junmyeon.”

 

“<i>You</i> tell Junmyeon,” Baekhyun grumps.  “All my suggestions get shot down.”

 

“Maybe because you keep commandeering Junmyeon’s secretary for yourself?”

 

“I do not,” Baekhyun asserts.  “Well, not always.”

 

Chanyeol spins Baekhyun around and Baekhyun resists the urge to bury his face in Chanyeol’s chest just to breathe him in.  “You’re in an argumentative mood today,” he comments.

 

The <i>no, I’m not</i> is on the tip of Baekhyun’s tongue but one look at Chanyeol’s knowing face and he swallows it down.  “Just kiss me already,” Baekhyun says instead.

 

Chanyeol is still smiling when Baekhyun drags him down, kissing softly over Baekhyun’s lips a few times.  Baekhyun sighs, his mind calming and his irritation bleeding away as he kisses Chanyeol a little harder, a little more demanding.  Chanyeol wets Baekhyun’s lips with his tongue, teases him for only a moment before giving Baekhyun what he wants.  Baekhyun’s fingers curl in Chanyeol’s shirt, and he raises to his toes, angling his head for a better, deeper kiss.

 

Like this, it’s easy to forget that he has to lie to the man he loves.  Like this, it’s easy to pretend that he’s a normal guy with a normal job and being here isn’t going to put Chanyeol at risk.  That’s what he’s afraid of the most.  He doesn’t know what he’d do if anything happened to Chanyeol.  It would break him.

  
  
  


It’s not hard to keep himself hidden from Chanyeol.  Baekhyun is given space on the third floor to work with the team already responsible for internal security.  Chanyeol, all the way up on the 23rd floor, has no reason to come down here.

 

This is supposed to be easy.  Baekhyun gets the team pumped up with a pep talk, shows them the new system they’ll be learning and expanding, and while they’re all focused on that, he’ll run one of Yixing’s sneakier programs through a small hole to find the information they need.  Anything it provides will download directly to his phone, and to Yixing’s terminal back at EXO.

 

With the larger, more complex systems, it can take longer to find the necessary files.  Baekhyun spends three days working, searching, and coming up with nothing.  He’s frustrated, and he knows Junmyeon is getting frustrated too.  It’s obvious even in his text when he asks Baekhyun to come in for a meeting after work.

 

“It’s not my fault if nothing’s there,” Baekhyun begins as he walks through the door to Junmyeon’s office.  He stops short when he sees Yixing there too, eyes darting between the two of them.

 

“That’s because there is a separate network for the CEO and Board of Directors,” Yixing explains.  “The one they have set up on the main server is a fake.  It took a few days to figure it out.”

 

“So now what?” Baekhyun asks.  “I only have tomorrow left.”

 

“You’re going to need to get into the CEO’s office and plug this in,” Yixing tells him, holding out a flash drive.

 

“Shit,” Baekhyun whispers.  While Chanyeol’s office isn’t on the same floor, Baekhyun knows Chanyeol frequents the upper floors.

 

“You’ve gotten in and out of tighter spots than this,” Junmyeon reminds Baekhyun.  And he’s right.  This is Baekhyun’s <i>job</i>.  He’s been trained for this.  He <i>knows</i> this.  The addition of Chanyeol is just another obstacle he needs to overcome.  He can do this.  He <i>will</i> do this.

 

Baekhyun pockets the flash drive.  “Yeah, I’ll get it done.”

 

He leaves the office, the weight of what he’s doing now heavy on his shoulders.  Chanyeol texts him, asking where he is, and Baekhyun calls him, apologizes and promises that he’s on the way home.  “I just had a meeting go a little too long.”

 

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol assures him, his deep voice calming.  “I’ll see you soon.”

 

“I love you,” Baekhyun tells him.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Chanyeol opens the door before Baekhyun can turn his key.  Chanyeol drags Baekhyun into the house by his tie, fingers curling in the silk fabric as he crushes his mouth to Baekhyun’s in a desperate kiss.

 

“What was that for?” Baekhyun asks when they part, out of breath and a little warm, a little fuzzy.

 

“Missed you,” Chanyeol tells him, leaning in for another kiss.  “You’ve been distant all week,” he further complains.

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Baekhyun says, head falling back with a groan as Chanyeol’s lips travel down the expanse of his neck.  “Just been distracted.”

 

“Well get undistracted for a night,” Chanyeol whispers, his hands running down over the curve of Baekhyun’s ass before he squeezes, dragging Baekhyun closer to him.

 

“I’m all yours,” Baekhyun promises.  He rests his arms on Chanyeol’s shoulders, eyes slipping closed.  At this point, he can’t be bothered by pesky things like his job and finding a way not to get caught when Chanyeol has him so thoroughly fuzzy.  His skin is buzzing, his breathing heavier the more Chanyeol touches, undresses, falls onto their favorite recliner.

 

Chanyeol pulls Baekhyun onto his lap with a cheeky grin.  Baekhyun laughs at him, fingers curling in Chanyeol’s hair to tip his head back and kiss him again.  Chanyeol’s palms are hot on his sides, running down to cup Baekhyun’s ass.  He squeezes, bringing Baekhyun forward.

 

Baekhyun moans, accidentally bites down on the swell of Chanyeol’s lower lip.  “Not sorry,” Baekhyun whispers, especially when Chanyeol does it again, rocking their bodies together.

 

Impatience is a powerful motivator.  It’s only been a few days since the last time they pawed at each other, but they rarely go a day without sex.  Baekhyun gets heated so quickly, moaning into Chanyeol’s mouth as they move faster, rougher.  Chanyeol fits one hand between them and Baekhyun jerks forward into his grip, gasping at the slide as Chanyeol strokes them together.

 

He’d be embarrassed at how fast he comes, but Chanyeol comes right after, a deep groan echoing in the room and Baekhyun’s mouth latched to Chanyeol’s neck.  Baekhyun pushes everything save the way Chanyeol holds him away, content in this for the night.  Tomorrow he’ll face the beast, but for tonight, he’s at peace.

  
  
  


There are a million ways this could go wrong.  For someone practiced, someone who never lets the trickle of doubt even register in his mind, somehow it’s taking Baekhyun over.  He’s <i>nervous</i>  Baekhyun is never nervous when he’s on a job - especially when it’s one this important.  That’s part of what makes him so good.  His confidence and ego are enough to pull him through.  He just needs to fucking relax.

 

The flash drive sits heavy in his pocket.  He keeps reaching in and rubbing his thumb down the length of it, clasping it in his palm and squeezing before releasing it and withdrawing his hand.  It’s almost a calming mechanism.

 

It’s his final day here, and the team he’s been teaching is now running through the program with ease.  They require little observation or intervention, which gives Baekhyun the time he needs to slip away.  He’s been putting it off all morning, but it’s late afternoon now and Junmyeon already texted him once, telling him to get his head out of his ass and do his job.

 

Baekhyun, with his hand back in his pocket, rides the elevator all the way up, stepping out to an empty hallway.  He knows the secretary at the now vacant desk has been called away for a minor emergency because Yixing had called her only minutes before, posing as a doctor with information about her mother’s health.  Not a sensitive move, but it got her out of the way.

 

Now all Baekhyun has to do is get into the CEO’s office, download the program and slip back out before anyone notices.  Easy peasy.

 

Most of the upper management, including the CEO, are in a meeting right now, and Baekhyun thanks his luck that the door to the office has been left unlocked.  The first thing he does is sweep the room for anyone else, and then he sets his eyes on the computer.  He darts over to it, flash drive already in his hand.  He wastes no time in plugging it in, hands stroking over the keyboard to accept the program and get it downloaded.

 

Baekhyun watches, waits.  It’s only seconds before he’s pocketing the flash drive again and heading out of the office.

 

Usually he’s more careful.  Usually he triple checks when he’s leaving the scene, but today he’s distracted.  Today he doesn’t notice the person rounding the corner until it’s too late.  The door clicks closed behind Baekhyun the moment Chanyeol spots him.

 

“Baek?” comes Chanyeol’s voice, immediately flooding Baekhyun with panic.

 

He needs to breathe.  Act natural.  He’s good at defusing situations.  Now he just needs to do it with Chanyeol.

 

“Hey,” Baekhyun breathes out, a smile sliding across his mouth.  “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

 

“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol questions, eyes darting between the door and Baekhyun, then down the hall and back to Baekhyun again.

 

“I was called in for a consultation,” Baekhyun explains.  “Nothing big.”

 

Chanyeol’s forehead creases, but soon relaxes when Baekhyun takes a step toward him.  “Oh,” he responds.  “I guess that makes sense.”

 

There are footsteps coming from behind Baekhyun; he needs to get out of here without drawing any attention.  “Well now that I’m here, how about I take you out for a late lunch?” Baekhyun offers.  He curls his arm around Chanyeol’s and turns him around to head in the other direction.

 

“If I’d known you were going to be here, I would have made time,” Chanyeol says, a grumpy tone to his voice as he pulls his arm free.  “But I’m booked all afternoon.”

 

Baekhyun scrunches his face, trying to act nonchalant even as he hears people nearing.  “Raincheck then?”  He backs away a few paces, but it’s not enough.  The CEO himself comes into view, along with someone else.  The two pause the moment they see Chanyeol and Baekhyun.  Baekhyun scrapes his eyes quickly over the unfamiliar man to drink in the small details before he’s giving the two newcomers a pleasant smile.

 

“Chanyeol,” the CEO begins, his eyes still warily settled on Baekhyun, “is there a problem?”

 

“There’s no problem,” Chanyeol comments.

 

Before Chanyeol can continue, Baekhyun steps forward to interrupt.  “It’s nice to finally meet the man in charge,” he greets professionally.  “I’m Baekhyun, the security analyst from EXO.”

 

“Oh, Mr. Byun?” the CEO finally realizes.  “What brings you up here?”  His eyes dart between Baekhyun and Chanyeol again.

 

“I wanted to brief you before I left, and your secretary wasn’t at the desk, so I was looking around for someone to point me in the right direction.”

 

“Ah, well, Mr. Park seems to have brought you to the right place.  I just came from a meeting, but I have a few minutes to spare.  Let’s talk in my office.”

 

Baekhyun feels a knot twist in his stomach as he brushes past Chanyeol without looking at him, nodding briefly at the CEO’s companion who makes him feel even more uneasy.  The weight of what just happened settles on Baekhyun as soon as the door closes behind him.  He’s going to pay for this later.

  
  
  


Baekhyun has two calls coming in.  One of them is from Chanyeol and the other from Junmyeon.  He’s sitting in his car outside his work building after having finished his job.  The thought of speaking to Chanyeol right now makes his stomach roil, so he declines the call and answers Junmyeon’s instead.

 

“Get out of the car and come up,” Junmyeon says without preamble.  There’s a tone of finality in his voice, and Baekhyun doesn’t argue.  He also doesn’t bother replying before hanging up.

 

He makes the short trip up to the 14th floor, and bypasses his office to head directly to the briefing room.  Yixing is there, as is Junmyeon who shuts the door behind Baekhyun.  Baekhyun glances between the two of them and they’re not wearing the happy faces of a finished job.

 

This doesn’t bode well.

 

“Did we get what we needed?” Baekhyun starts, at least hoping that much has been done.

 

“More than we needed,” Yixing tells him, giving Baekhyun a thumbs-up.

 

“But there is a complication,” Junmyeon cuts in.  “Someone’s doing their homework on you.”

 

Baekhyun swallows down a drop of nervous panic.  “And they’ll find what the company wants them to find,” Baekhyun states.  They all have public files that cover their tracks - damn good public files because most of it is based in truth.  They just leave out the spy part.

 

Yixing is shaking his head.  “Whoever this is is good.  I’ve been able to stay one step ahead of them, but they’re digging deep.”

 

“Did something happen?” Junmyeon questions.  “No matter how small . . . “

 

Baekhyun scowls.  He feels like a recruit again, being scolded for not paying enough attention.  “The only red flag was this seedy looking man who was with the CEO when we bumped into each other.  He definitely didn’t work there, but he seemed to have been in the meeting with the Board.”

 

Baekhyun goes over all the details he remembers, and Yixing pulls up a database of people who fit the description and may be linked to their case.  It takes a while before Baekhyun finds the right one, and it leaves him feeling uneasy.  He knows what the protocol is for a situation like this.  He looks to Junmyeon with pleading eyes.

 

“No,” Junmyeon says before Baekhyun can say anything.  “I know what’s at stake, but you knew this could happen one day.”

 

He’s right, but that doesn’t make Baekhyun any happier about it.  He can already feel the despair trying to claw from the pit of his stomach to strangle him.  He’s been trained to hold in his emotions, but he wasn’t expecting this.  Not after so many in and out missions.  Not after so long being in the same place, waking up to the same face and building a real life.

 

“Yixing will have your new papers ready before you leave.  There’s a ten o’clock flight to Beijing.  Be on it.  Kris will meet you out there and get you set up.  How’s your Mandarin?”

 

Baekhyun doesn’t answer.  He can’t move.  He can’t think.  He can’t breathe.

 

He has to leave Chanyeol.

 

No, he doesn’t just have to leave Chanyeol.  He has to <i>break</i> Chanyeol.  It’s the only way to make sure Chanyeol doesn’t go searching for him, or doing something stupid that links them together.  Baekhyun can’t have Chanyeol putting himself in danger.

 

Baekhyun walks numbly from his office with less than three hours to pack up the pieces of his life, less than three hours to absolutely ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to him.  The tears don’t start until he’s parking, turning off the engine and willing himself to get out and go up to the apartment he shares with Chanyeol.

 

It’s tempting to beg Yixing to call Chanyeol and get him out so Baekhyun can sneak away.  It would save him the heartache of having to stare Chanyeol in the eye as he breaks his heart.  It would keep Baekhyun from having to witness the hurt he’s causing.  But that would be unfair.  If he’s going to leave Chanyeol, he’s at least going to have the decency to do it to his face - his handsome, wonderful face that Baekhyun adores.

 

Baekhyun can’t do it.

 

He taps on the edge of his phone before sliding his thumb over the screen to unlock it.  There has to be a better way.

 

Junmyeon answers with a solemn sigh.

 

“What if I just took some vacation time?” Baekhyun questions.  “I could be out of the country, and when this all blew over -”

 

“You know that’s not policy,” Junmyeon interjects.  “I can’t do that.  It would compromise both you and Chanyeol.”

 

“Junmyeon <i>please</i> -”

 

“Baekhyun, you knew the risks,” Junmyeon says sternly.  And Baekhyun knows Junmyeon isn’t being heartless.  He <i>knows</i> Junmyeon is doing what’s best, but it still hurts.  Still stings.

 

Junmyeon hangs up and Baekhyun’s last hope has been shattered.  The tears well in his eyes and he wipes furiously at them.  This isn’t the time to wallow; it’s time to do what he has to in order to protect the man he loves.  It wouldn’t be so urgent if this wasn’t someone from an organization who stoops to kidnapping and killing to get what they want now looking into Baekhyun.  But it is.  Baekhyun can’t let Chanyeol get caught up in that.

 

He gets out of the car, suit jacket and briefcase left in the passenger seat.  There’s no need to bring them inside.  He takes in deep breaths on his way up, slowly looping the key to the apartment off his key ring and sliding the rest of the keys back in his pocket.

 

Baekhyun was trained to keep his emotions under control, even in the worst circumstances, but he thinks this might be more than worse.  Chanyeol doesn’t deserve this.

 

Baekhyun swallows down his fear, his guilt, his sadness, and finally opens the door to make his final stand.  Chanyeol isn’t in view when he steps inside.  Baekhyun takes the key and places it on the table by the door, keeping his shoes on.  His eyes drag over the apartment, over the life he’s managed to build, and wonders if he’ll ever find this kind of happiness again.  Will Chanyeol?

 

Chanyeol finally appears, his mouth pinched and eyebrows furrowed.  “You didn’t answer my call.”

 

Baekhyun sighs, running fingers through his hair.  It’s time to play his part.  “Yeah,” he answers.

 

Chanyeol reels back a little, clearly taken aback by Baekhyun’s lackluster response.  “Why?”

 

Baekhyun shrugs.  “Didn’t feel like it.”

 

That has Chanyeol’s mouth dropping, his arms folding defensively across his chest.  “Just like you didn’t <i>feel like</i> telling me you were working in my building for the last week?  What the fuck is happening?”

 

“I didn’t tell you about being there because I didn’t want you around, okay?” Baekhyun snaps.  “I didn’t need you under my ass when I was trying to do my <i>job</i>.”

 

“Well maybe you shouldn’t sleep here tonight if that’s how you feel,” Chanyeol barks back.  “If I’m that annoying to be around, why the fuck are you still here?”

 

“That’s a good question,” Baekhyun bites.  “I’ll only be here long enough to get my stuff.”

 

Chanyeol’s face goes slack, his eyes watering as his arms drop to his sides.  “Are you serious?”

 

Baekhyun stares at him, refusing to let any emotion through.  If he does, they’re both finished.  “Being with you makes me feel suffocated.  You smother me and I’m - I thought I could get over it, but I can’t.”

 

“Baek, you’ve <i>never</i> had a problem with -”

 

“Not one that I’ve told you.  Let’s be honest here,” he continues, slipping his hands in his pockets.  He curls his fingers into fists, nails digging into his palms to keep him from reaching out to Chanyeol and comforting him, telling him it’s all lies.  “We were never going to last.  It’s better this way, before you get in deeper.”

 

“You have the <i>nerve</i> to say this after <i>two years</i>?!” Chanyeol demands, stepping forward.  There’s pain on his face, rage playing across his handsome features.

 

“Better now than after we’ve become jaded and hate each other.  My dreams are bigger than you, and I finally have the chance to chase them.  So I’m going.”

 

“So that’s it?”  Tears spill down Chanyeol’s cheeks freely.  “You just tell me I’m not good enough and walk out after everything?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Chanyeol walks toward him.  “Well I don’t accept that,” he snarls.

 

“You don’t have a choice,’ Baekhyun tells him, moving himself out of Chanyeol’s range.  “I don’t want to be with you anymore.  I don’t want to see you, or hear you or <i>think</i> about how much time I’ve wasted in this place.”

 

“That’s unfair,” Chanyeol tells him, turning to follow when Baekhyun starts walking down to their bedroom.  “How do you drop a bomb on someone like this?”

 

“Because you were a place holder!” Baekhyun yells.  He doesn’t dare turn around.  He knows Chanyeol is right behind him, but he can’t look at him anymore.  “I was only with you until something better came along.  And it did.  That’s how it is.”

 

“You’re not this person,” Chanyeol rumbles, his voice thick and straining.  “I know you -”

 

“No you don’t.”  Baekhyun slowly spins to stare blankly at Chanyeol.  “If you did, you’d know that I was only using you.  You were a fun distraction for a while.  And a great fuck.  But never an end game.”

 

“You don’t mean that,” Chanyeol croaks.  And he looks so broken, so <i>hurt</i>  Baekhyun hates himself.

 

“It was fun for a while,” Baekhyun tells him.  Cold, heartless.  “But it got old.  You got boring and clingy.  Let it go with some dignity.”

 

The Chanyeol that Baekhyun knows seems to fade away.  There’s always been a spark within him, this bright side of life attitude that he uses to pull him through everything.  Baekhyun watches as it fizzles away and Chanyeol slumps against the wall, looking more broken than Baekhyun thought he could.

 

It fucking <i>hurts</i>.  What kind of person is he that he could do this to the man he loves most in the world?

 

Baekhyun can’t take looking at him anymore.  He can’t be here.  He can’t do this.  He’ll have someone come for his things later.

 

With the last of his resolve, Baekhyun storms out of the only place he’s truly felt at home and runs.  He runs down the stairs instead of taking the elevator.  He runs through the parking garage and slides into his car.  He revs the engine, peels out of the lot and drives as fast as he can away from it all.

 

He’s minutes away when he has to pull to the side of the road.  He puts the car in park and lets it all soak in.

 

Baekhyun screams.  He screams and he cries and he slams his fists into the steering wheel until they ache.  Everything hurts in a way he didn’t think possible.  It’s in his bones, in his heart.  He hates himself, hates that he wasn’t good enough to keep this from happening.

 

He sits on the side of the road for an hour.

 

There’s no life left in Baekhyun when he begins his drive to the airport.  He checks in, only his briefcase and phone in his possession.  He left his keys in the car; Junmyeon will send someone to collect them soon.  He sits and waits for his flight, thumbing through the contacts on his phone.  He gets to Chanyeol’s and stares at it.

 

Baekhyun stares at the name, the number, and presses his finger to the screen to keep it from going dark every time it dims.  He stares at it until his flight is called and he gets ready to board.  Just before he walks onto the plane, he blocks the number and deletes the contact.

 

Baekhyun feels like he’s deleted a piece of himself too.

  
  
  


<b>One Year Later</b>

 

The city feels the same.  There’s the same buzzing energy, the same high rises and people rushing down the sidewalks.  Baekhyun takes it all in.  He feels out of place here.  It doesn’t have the same comfort it used to, but he’s been gone for a while.  He’d only been in Beijing for a few weeks before someone had tracked him down, intent to end his life.

 

Baekhyun’s been on the run, in hiding, for months.  It’s been two weeks since EXO, and the governments from several countries, were able to put a full stop to the organization.  It’s been two weeks of Baekhyun second guessing his place in the company, and his place in the world.  He’s asked for a position that doesn’t involve field work, doesn’t come with a threat over his head. Junmyeon is working on it.

 

He doesn’t know why he came back here, of all places.

 

Or rather, he doesn’t know if the person he came back for will want him.

 

It’s ridiculous to think he hadn’t ruined everything, ridiculous to think Chanyeol would - or <i>could</i> \- ever forgive him.  Baekhyun’s kept tabs on him; he’s had Jongdae helping cover Chanyeol’s tracks.  As the company Chanyeol worked for crashed around him, he was able to secure a better job somewhere else.  Jongdae tells Baekhyun that he seems happier, but Baekhyun doesn’t know if it’s true or if Jongdae is trying to make him hate himself less.

 

Baekhyun walks down the block, a wave of nostalgia rushing through him when he pauses.  He’s standing where he’d been the day they met, the day Chanyeol had literally walked into his life.  It’s weird being here and not knowing where Chanyeol is.  It’s weird being lost in a place he knows so well.

 

Baekhyun sighs, eyes aimed at the sky.

 

He doesn’t see the man rounding the corner, a satchel hanging from his fingers and coffee clutched tight in his hand.  He doesn’t notice the other man being too distracted to see where he’s going.  Baekhyun flicks his gaze forward only long enough to catch a glimpse of someone walking right into him.

 

He gasps, unable to keep himself from falling back, landing painfully on the sidewalk.  Warmth floods over his chest and stomach; he looks down to see brown coffee dribbling off him, filling the crack in the sidewalk beneath him.  Irritation floods through Baekhyun and he glares up at his assailant, only for the angry words on his tongue to skitter back down his throat.

 

“I am so sorry,” comes a deep, achingly familiar voice.  “Are you al-”

 

Baekhyun stares up at Chanyeol who is half crouched, hand extended to help him up.  Chanyeol’s been stricken silent, stock still as he seems to stare back at Baekhyun in disbelief.

 

“You always did have a way with sweeping me off my feet,” Baekhyun whispers.

 

Chanyeol’s right eye twitches, and Baekhyun thinks there was almost a smile there.  He reaches up, taking Chanyeol’s proffered hand before he rescinds the offer.  Chanyeol helps Baekhyun from the ground, but pulls back after, holding his hand to his chest as if Baekhyun’s touch burned him.

 

“I have no right to ask for your forgiveness,” Baekhyun tells him.  “But if we could talk,” he continues, hopeful, “I’d like the chance to explain myself.”

 

Chanyeol looks him up and down before speaking.  “I’ve got some time,” he says, still looking conflicted.  “I still have most of your clothes too.  You should probably change.”

 

Baekhyun looks down at his wet shirt and pants before nodding.  “That’d be great.  Thanks.”

 

“It doesn’t mean I like you,” Chanyeol comments as they begin walking.

 

“I know,” Baekhyun sighs.

 

“And you’d better have a damn good reason, too, or I’m kicking you out.”

 

“That’s fair.”

 

Chanyeol pauses and turns to Baekhyun.  “For what it’s worth, I never believed you.”

 

Baekhyun huffs out a soft laugh.  “That’s a relief.”

 

“Still pissed,” Chanyeol tosses out when he starts walking again.

 

Baekhyun scrambles to keep up, deciding he’s going to tell Chanyeol the truth.  If Junmyeon gets pissed, he can bring Chanyeol in to sign a non-disclosure contract.  Baekhyun’s not about to waste his second chance.  Not this time.  Not ever again.


End file.
